Transitioning from being career driven to stay-at-home mom was not an easy feat for me. This is my story, how I went from being completely lost to finding a new self in motherhood. The most natural thing in the world does not come so natural to all woman.
Courtesy of loveandfidelity.org
Goals. I had them, most of which I feel I executed. I knew what I wanted to do with my life and was on the straight and narrow path to get there. My husband and I had plans to join the Peace Corps after he completed Graduate School. We had been planning this since we were juniors in undergrad.
Shortly before the application period we found out we were expecting a bundle of joy. Looking back it is quite shocking how quickly we welcomed our fading dreams in trade of the prospect of this bundle of joy.
I loved my job. I felt needed, respected and at times admired. I had schedules to keep and meetings to attend. Every day was uncertain and I looked forward to tackling it head on with a cup of coffee in my hand and a new pair of heels on my feet. If the day didn’t go quite right, there was always the promise of a hot bath, quiet home and any drink of my choice.
Once our bouncing baby boy arrived I was given the opportunity and encouraged to stay home. I said, yes, I had my reasons, though I do hold the working mother to high esteem. It was an answer that would have surprised my year ago self. My job was to work with children in need and there was no other child that needed me more at that moment than my very own.
With this decision set in stone I was greeted with a never ending list of things to do. The contradiction here is I had no idea what I was supposed to do all day.
This is when my “mom†world got rocked. I would wake up in the morning not sure of what I was supposed to do. For so long, I woke to an alarm, jumped in the shower, put on nice clothes and sprinted out the door eager to tackle the world. Now, I woke when he woke. I was uncertain if I was supposed to put on “normal†clothes, would we even leave the house today? Should I put on gym clothes? Would anyone notice at the end of the day if I stayed in my jammy? Is there a point to taking a shower? Within 5 minutes I’m sure I will end up with some sort of bodily fluid in my hair, again.
I began questioning my identity. Who am I now? I was struggling to identify with my new role in life. Pinterest and mommy bloggers just intensified my feelings of complete inferiority. I needed to discover new parts of me if this stay-at-home thing was going to work. I made the decision to put myself out there and join a mommy’s group. I discovered, I was not alone!
Every day there are rewards to being a stay-at-home mom yet not without its challenges. Â In one 24 hour period a mom can literally experience laughter, tears, silliness, frustration, happiness and on certain day much much more. Still, at the end of the day when we peek into the crib of our sleeping babe we cannot wait to do it all over again.
As my son became mobile and started to communicate my calendar began to fill up. I became busier and more scheduled than ever before in my life. I found new things I enjoy and discovered I am pretty good at them. I discovered my inner silly child. I experienced new challenges and found the outcome made me better, bigger and wiser. The best part is that each and every day is an adventure and a celebration.
I feel overwhelmed at least once a day. I still wear my gym clothes at least four out of seven days in the week yet never see a gym. I get tunnel vision when entering a store with a toddler. I always forget something at home and have yet to adjust to the 1001 things you need to have on hand. Slowly though I have found a new self, one I hope my son will admire, appreciate and respect if not today then one day.
Transitioning From Career Driven to Stay-At-Home Mom: The Dirty Truth
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